days off.

i feel like i have been slacking on my blog post. i thought it was because i don't have a camera and many of the post i have wanted to do would best be described with a picture. but then last night i had my first night off in more then a week from school, running and work and realized those are the reasons why i have not been consistent with my blog posting. i do not want to bore my friends (and by friends i mean my 2 sisters bc they are the only ones who read this) with tower 7 nonsense or how each mile felt while running. & bc both of those 2 subjects always end with the same consensus...work= pissed off & running=over it.

with the trip to nicaragua coming up (9 more days) i have been trying to work as much as possible. the other day i was just thinking that i haven't really hung out with just the girls in so long. which is weird for us bc we atleast try and get together for a little while once a week. then i realized that we are all going on this vacation together and are trying to schedule ourselves at work as much as possible and limit how much we go out. and with spring break coming up, for those of us in school, spring break equals midterms. i am so ready for vacation.

yesterday off from everything was amazing. i ran errands, went to the beach with kalhua, worked out in the gym and actually went out to a restaurant sat down and got waited on! 

tonight i am off of work again. school and my run have been completed. i plan to spend the rest of my day wandering around barnes & noble then maybe going to hot yoga. i love days off :)

HELP!!!!!

i am so tired of my run playlist. i have my last & longest 20 mile run this weekend & really need some help with my playlist. any suggestions on what to download to keep me entertained. please HELP! (lauren no books on tape to are allowed to be listed)

recap.

*went downtown with the girls to watch the michael jackson coverband, whos bad.

*ended the night downtown with dancing at odessa & pizza at ny pizza.

*12 mile run the morning after going downtown, not a bright idea.

*went to 22n for the first time in atleast 2 years. and had a blast. weird.

*caught up with my old roommates who were in town, brooke and paris. it was good to see these girls. and even better to see them happy.

*had a fun little oscar party at leah's house. where we ate vietnamese sweet potato & shrimp pancakes, shumia, yummy breads &  ended the feast with pound cake and icecream. then we relaxed, drank wine and gossiped about all of the celebrities on the red carpet & on stage. 

sorry, not a lot on my mind this morning. thought i would recap the weekend to put pleasant thoughts in my head bc this week is going to be a long one.

NICARAGUA: 12 DAYS!

all worth it.

i had another rough night at tower last night as server/manager. the thought of quitting frequently went through my mind last night, a few tears were even shed. the waves were good yesterday and the weather was even better. we were busy and way understaffed. i have only managed one other night and had no idea what the procedures were for closing as a manager. and on top of all my closing duties as a server on such a busy night was too much. this morning when i woke up taylor told me she had brownies and pb&j's waiting for me when i come into work today bc she wants me to have a good day. i love the girls i work with. we have all formed a really tight bond inside and outside of work. they make all the bullshit worth it.

note to taylor: thank you so much for all your help. you're the best :) i'm going to buy you lots (and by lots i mean 2 bc apparently thats all it takes for us) of shots at who's bad tonight. sorry ross its happening!

the countdown begins

NICARAGUA: 15 DAYS

last week i got my first sun burn of the season. i didn't even think about putting sunscreen on because why would you need it in the beginning of february? the beautiful weather those 2 days in wilmington were just a tease. now its back to being cold and rainy and my sunburn has started to peel. yesterday was especially cold and rainy. i was only at work for an hour bc the beach is a ghost town when the sun isn't out. i spent the whole day snuggled up with kahlua on the couch watching season 3 of weeds. this weather has made me officially start my countdown to nicaragua. where i will be on the beach in the sun with a drink in my hand alongside my wonderful friends.

25 things.

this has been circulating around facebook. thought i would just post it on my blog instead. this is a little lighter then my last post!

25 random things about me: (im sure you are thrilled to read them all)

1. i am training for a marathon. & am really hoping to qualify for boston my first try.
2. i always have gum. when i do my long runs i chew at least 3 pieces.
3. i am terrified of wrist. i will curl up in a ball & go numb if someone touches my wrist or shows me their wrist. this has been a fear of mine ever since i was little.
   
4. when i was younger i used to want to be on snl. my best friend and i would memorize all the skits and perform them for anyone who would watch.
   
5. i have been to africa and have seen one of the seven natural wonders of the world, victoria falls.
   
6. i wake up every morning before 7:30 am without an alarm & for no reason. (this morning 6:58)
   
7. i love ncstate football. probably love tailgating for them with jessica even more.
8. i hate bras. i try to never wear them.
9. i love the feeling of muscle soreness the day after lifting. and love even more to make other people feel that way (sorry nicole!)
10. i want to live somewhere other than the states. but dont know if i will ever be brave enough to move.
    
11. my dad graduated from the citadel & was pretty strict. my sisters and i weren't allowed to wear makeup until 9th grade. we weren't allowed to wear bikinis we had to wear one-piece speedos to the beach & the pool. our ears weren't allowed to be pierced until we turned 16. couldn't go on dates until we were 16 either...etc.
    
12. i was a lifeguard for 6 years
    
13. i can't start the morning without coffee
    
14. normally, i won't wear anything unless it consist of these basic colors (grey,white,black,navy,brown)
    
15. i used to only answer if you called me by my middle name, faith.
    
16. i used to want to marry a youth pastor. which now creeps me out bc my brother-in-law was/is one.
    
17. my favorite food growing up, fried okra.
    
18. i used to be 25 pounds heavier then i am now. and i am scared to end up back at that weight...which is why fried okra USED to be my favorite food.
    
19. my middle toenail on my left foot has fallen off more then 5 times.
    
20. i was suspended in high school bc my best friend turned my name in.
    
21. i can see the ocean from my porch and the waterway from my living room window.
    
22. i graduated with a communication studies degree & have no desire to use it.
    
23. i have a tattoo. want another one. i have a feeling this will be an endless cycle.
    
24. i love to be by myself.
    
25. my older sisters used to love making me eat dog biscuits, try to make me laugh so hard i would drool (which i did all the time), grab my wrist/show me their wrist, and throw strings on me and make me freak out. i wonder why i love them?
    

morning brew.

as i am sitting here in panara bread waiting for my coffee to kick in so i can begin studying, i am eavesdropping on the conversation of the group sitting behind me. i have overheard phrases such as; "gods will,"  "called to do," "sharing the love of jesus." all of these phrases put a funny feeling in my stomach.

i am not sure how i feel about christianity. i was brought up in a pretty strict religious family. i thought you were going to hell if you said a cuss word or heaven forbid kissed a boy/girl before you were married. i was pretty ridiculous. i signed  a "contract" that my sister made up saying that i would never have sex, even when i was married (luckily, she has lost it.) & one time i asked my swim coach if she regretted kissing boys before she was married (i was being dead serious.)i attended a church camp one time and they told me secular cds were terrible to listen to. so when i got home i threw all of my secular cds away, even my favorite brandy cd! i got mad at my sister at her bachelorette party for wanting a glass of wine. i could go on & on with examples of how i used to behave.

***i would like to take time out of my blog post to apologize to everyone in my past for acting that way***

looking back at our church it feels more like i was in a cult (which is why i get a funny feeling hearing those phrases.) i loved it growing up. our church was fun to go to. the services were not stiff, there was praise and worship, clapping, dancing everything to keep me entertained. but when i got older and went to college i found out so much that my church had not taught me and kind of felt betrayed for teaching me such one-sided views and completely giving them my trust. 

then when my parents and my bestfriend, tawni's parents got divorced (all around the same time) it was crazy to see how the people in the church treated our parents and all the drama that ensued with these people who should have no input on this particular situation. most (not all) were very judgmental and hurtful to our parents. my uncle and dad were pretty good friends while my dad was married to my mom. but now my uncle avoids family gatherings or anytime that he might have to interact with my dad bc he does not believe in divorce (im sure i don't know the whole story but my uncle has never taken the time to explain to me why he has chosen to act this way.)

i was such a judgmental person in every aspect of my life bc i thought that there was only one way to do things, gods way. i am very bitter towards organized religion and christianity. i know not all christians act in such a way. i have met so many christians that are loving no matter who you are, what you do or what you have done in your past. i think my brother in law, my sister and tawni are great examples of what a christianity is about. because of them i have not given up on the idea that there is a god. i love them with all of my heart and see them live the life that the bible teaches us to live. i dont want to sit hear and pass judgement on christianity bc of my dealings with it (then i would be a hypocrite.) but i am confused, angry & sometimes fed up with it.

this post is way too deep. i could write on this topic forever. i think the coffee has already had time to kick in and fade out. time for another cup and some serious study action.